Hard Rock Zombies (1985)

Hard Rock Zombies (1985)

📅03 November 2011, 17:30

It’s soo bad, yet I can’t look away!

Hard Rock Zombies (1985)
Directed By: Krishna Shah

The Prologue
Now I’m well aware that this movie isn’t a movie that many of you will call “good”. As a matter of fact, a lot of you might just hate it. And I can understand that, I really can. But not counting the major creep factor this film has (more on that later), there was just something about Hard Rock Zombies that I really really did like. And as for why I liked it, I’m not sure. It could be a number of things. Maybe it’s just one of those soo bad it’s good things. But it did rub me in the right way overall. I won’t say it’s by any means “good”. But I do believe it’s watchable and a whole lot of fun. So lets take a dive into another rock-n-roll themed horror film! One with the worst zombie walk I have ever seen.

The Movie
A hard rock band travels to the tiny and remote town of Grand Guignol to perform. Peopled by hicks, rubes, werewolves, murderous dwarves, sex perverts, and Hitler, the town is a strange place but that doesn’t stop the band’s lead singer from falling in love with a local girl named Cassie. After Nazi sex perverts kill the band to satisfy their lusts, Cassie calls the rockers back from the grave to save her, the town, and maybe the world.

1985 was a hell of a year, and I assume drugs were somewhere in the mix with Hard Rock Zombies. And what an odd film it really is. Our lead singer here isn’t just a poor love struck guy who falls for the wrong girl and ends up in a whole of trouble (which leads to he and his bands death and their resurrection). People who watch this film tend to forget that he’s seemingly in love with an underage girl. Now how young was she? Well, she looked rather young. And don’t think the fact is lost on our cupid-shot lead singer. The fact makes it’s way into his song he writes for her in the movie. Something along the lines of “I’m soo in love, but you’re soo young”. Yes sir, that’s a pedophiles anthem if I ever heard one!

Regardless, the film is way more outrageous and funny than scary. There are tons of plot holes (and massive logic ones), to go along with the world worst zombie walk I have ever seen. We have a rock band vs. Nazis. Then that goes into zombie rockers vs. Nazis. Then everyone but a couple people are just zombies. And our band’s leader is pretty much the only person who can save the dear underage Cassie, but he seems more content with rocking out one last time and then burring himself back up in the grave with the rest of the band. It leaves you scratching your head, but it also leaves you laughing a bit as well.

Grandparents have sex in front of the family, people get killed with weed-wackers, and midgets eat themselves. It happens all in the name of ROCK N’ ROLL apparently. And if this movie doesn’t have anything to do with Troma I’m shocked, because it’s right along those lines. One of those “soo bad it’s good” films that is over the top, but yet manages to pack soo much entertainment that you can’t help but watch it from start to finish. Even weirder, you’ll enjoy some of it. So if liking this movie makes me lose some of my “credit”, then I’ll just have to suck it up and accept it. I liked it, and I can’t help it.

The Conclusion

It probably won’t make anyone’s top 10 list, but it’s got some OK music and it’s a whole lot of fun. Even if the fact we have a grown man lusting over a really young lady. The gore isn’t THAT great, but it’s got some OK stuff here and there. We get Hitler, Rock music, and Zombies, so it’s got a little something for everyone I think. 

The Rating (6/10)        

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