Cannibal Kitchen: The Evil Dead (1981)

Cannibal Kitchen: The Evil Dead (1981)

Cannibal Kitchen: The Evil Dead (1981)

📅14 February 2013, 19:26


“Can They Be Stopped”
I recently had an awesome reader request some ideas for meat free dining options. Even if you are not a practicing Catholic, most people are aware that yesterday marked “Ash Wednesday”, and the start of Lent, which leads many people to meat free Fridays. I should prefix the fact that although I was raised in a family that was a mix of Catholic and Greek Orthodox, I am not a great practicer of either. Fact is, you can’t go to Sunday church in Pentagram and Goat Head leggings, and that just doesn’t work for me. Regardless, I don’t disregard other people’s beliefs and I think it’s great that everyone is different. After all, how boring is normalcy and how ignorant is intolerance. Even though I am not a good Catholic, I tend to know a thing or two about meat free dining. I typically market myself as a Vegetarian with a ton of Vegan tendencies and I’ve happily been this way about half of my existence. I figured this was a great opportunity to give you traditional carnivores a different look into meat free foods. Hopefully over the next month you all are inspired by the fact that even though it’s not a burger, it doesn’t have to be boring. So now that I got all after school special on you guys, let’s get onto one of our favorite Raimi productions, Xena: Warrior Princess. Jokes people.

I really wanted to get this post up yesterday, however, I unfortunately had that whole it’s my birthday thing going on. I don’t know about you, but my birthday usually consists of me making myself sick on pancakes, and apparently this year a present from the City of Chicago in the form of a bogus $50 parking ticket. (Side note: When your pay voucher says you have parking until 2:15, that doesn’t mean you can jump out of a bush and write me a ticket at 2:14. I caught you mid act because I’m a ninja like that. Vultures.) How perfect would that have been?  Ash Wednesday, Evil Dead, ehh ehh. Oh well, that ship has sailed and you’re getting this on Ash Wednesday part 2. Plus, who likes Valentines Day anyways. If anyone buys me a balloon today, I’m choking you with it.
Evil Dead doesn’t need much of an introduction. We have all seen it, and we all love it. If you haven’t seen it, I may have to go ahead and buy myself a balloon and choke you with it regardless. It is damn impressive to see such a cult film come out of such a low-budget. If this doesn’t prove to today’s directors that big money doesn’t automatically equal great movie then I don’t know what does. Evil Dead has a simple story line, fantastic makeup, and some great camera work. Not to forget, it’s the film that puts my future baby daddy, Bruce Campbell, on the horror map.
(Still from the 2013 release)
It’s no secret that Evil Dead is being remade, and being pushed pretty hard right now. I hope I’m not jumping out of line to soon by saying that I have some real high hopes for this film. You can blame my high expectations on the fact that Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are producers on this re-make. The budget on this film is way more than 3 times of the original, but as we have already established, sometimes that’s the kiss of death to a great movie. For the most part, the horror genre just doesn’t do as well with all the bells and whistles. For now, I’m crossing my fingers and toes, and trying really really hard to ignore the fact that there is no Ash in this take, probably no Cheryl verse a tree Jerry Springer like love fest, and that this is Director Fede Alvarez’s first full length. I guess we’ll have to just wait until April 5th, and keep a 10 Ft distance between all shrubbery and ourselves until then.


Beans Of The Dead

Unfortunately theses beans won’t induce possession, but they are so tasty they’ll probably have you speaking in tongues after one bite. This is best as a cold salad, and is perfect as a side dish or a mid-day snack/lunch. Not to forget, this dish is a great form of protein.


– 1 (16 ounce) can Garbanzo Beans, drained
– 3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
– 3 Tablespoons and 1 Teaspoon Red Wine Vinegar
– 1 Tablespoon Italian Dressing
– 1 Teaspoon Lemon Juice
– 1 Teaspoon Paprika, more to garnish
– ¼ Teaspoon Salt
– ¼ Teaspoon Black Pepper
– A pinch of Cayenne Pepper

In a small bowl mix together all ingredients except the beans. Put the garbanzo beans in a medium-sized bowl, and then pour the liquid mixture over the top. Toss to combine, and then cover and refrigerate for an hour. Add more salt and pepper to your liking, and then garnish with a little more paprika.
Serves 4

Campbell’s Tomato Soup

Campbell Tomato Soup has been around forever, and in my opinion, it’s inedible. Then again, I was never much of a canned soup kind of gal. This recipe is classic yet more flavorful, and still manages to hold the simplicity of what we like about making a soup. I’m pretty sure Bruce Campbell would give it two thumbs up. Eat it as a side, or it’s great as a main course. Pair it along with a grilled cheese for a real snazzy party.


–       4 Cups Vegetable Broth
–       1 (28 oz) can Crushed Tomatoes
–       ½ Can Tomato paste
–       ½ Cup Dry Red Wine
–       ½ Cup Water
–       ½ Cup Heavy Cream
–       1 Whole fresh Tomato, Chopped
–       2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
–       2 Tablespoons Butter
–       ½ Yellow Onion, Chopped
–       1 Stalk of Celery, Chopped
–       5 Garlic Cloves, Crushed and chopped
–       3 Fresh Thyme Leaves
–       1 Fresh Basil Leaf, plus more chopped to garnish
–       2 Tablespoon All-purpose flour
–       1 Teaspoon Oregano
–       1 Teaspoon Salt
–       ½ Teaspoon Red Pepper flakes
–       ¼ Teaspoon Black Pepper
–       Italian seasoned croutons to garnish (Optional)
–       Mozzarella cheese, Shredded to garnish (Optional)

In a large pot, melt the butter over medium heat. Turn the heat to low, and then add the garlic, onion, and celery. Sauté the mixture for 5 minutes, and then cover to cook for 10 more minutes. Next, add the red wine to the pot and stir to fully coat. Cover and continue to simmer for 5 minutes. Follow by adding the flour and stirring  constantly for 3 minute.
Next, add the Vegetable broth, water, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, fresh tomato, and olive oil to the pot. Mix, and then turn the heat up to medium-high and allow to boil. Once the mixture has boiled, return the heat to a low setting. Add the remainder of the ingredients, except croutons, and allow to simmer for 2 hours, stirring occasionally.
Remove the basil and thyme leaves, and transfer mixture to a blender and puree until smooth. Return the mixture to the pot, and continue to heat over a low heat. Slowly add the heavy cream and mix until completely incorporated. Add additional salt and pepper to your liking, and then garnish with fresh basil, a little cheese, and croutons.
Serves 4-6

(Mini) Tree Risotto

Cheryl may have been taken advantaged of by a full-sized tree, but this is your opportunity to eat their baby tree love child. Risotto is a magical Italian delicacy, or at least it is in my house. Yes it requires some attention while being made, however, it isn’t quite difficult. The reward with this recipe is a creamy, cheesy, and  filling rice dish that gets an added pow of flavor with some balsamic asparagus. It also heats up beautifully if you don’t want to share and need to go round 2.


–       2 ½ Cups Arborio Rice
–       1 lb Asparagus, Stems removed, cut into 1 inch pieces
–       1 Cup Yellow Onion, Diced
–       2 Tablespoons Butter
–       5 Garlic Cloves, Diced
–       ½ Cup Dry White wine
–       5 Cups Vegetable Broth
–       ½ Cup Heavy Cream
–       ½ Cup Mozzarella Cheese, shredded
–       ½ Cup Parmesan Cheese, shredded
–       1 Tablespoons Italian Parsley, Diced
–       1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
–       ½ Teaspoon Salt
–       ½ Teaspoon Balsamic Vinegar
–       1 Tablespoon Butter

In a large sauce pan, over medium heat, melt 2 Tablespoons of butter. Add the asparagus, garlic, and onion. Add the balsamic vinegar and sauté for 8 minutes, or until asparagus is tender. Next, add the broth, wine, salt, and pepper. Bring the liquid to a boil and then reduce to low heat. Allow to simmer for 10 minutes. Add the rice, cover, and let simmer for another 5 minutes. Remove lid, and continue to cook for another 15 minutes on medium heat, stirring constantly. The risotto should have a creamy texture by this point. Add 1 tablespoon butter, cream, both cheeses, and parsley. Simmer for 2 more minutes, or until cheese is completely melted. Serve immediately.
Serves 4-6
As I said above, Cannibal Kitchen is going to be pretty meat free and pretty fantastic over the next month. Can’t wait and need some more veg friendly options right this second? Make sure to check back through my previous posts. I have a ton of user-friendly recipes to choose from. These are some of my favorites (Click on each to take to full recipe):

– A very low effort pumpkin ravioli with sage cream sauce
– A tasty Alfredo. Just eliminate the chicken, and add some steamed broccoli.
– A Potato and Egg breakfast sandwich
– Scroll down to the potato tacos. Bonus: Use leftovers potatoes to make the breakfast sandwich above the next morning.
– A Quinoa and Veg Stir Fry 
– Baked Beans and Baked Carrots
– Mango Salsa, Guac, Refried Beans, and Quinoa Tostadas
– Chickpea Salad
– Scroll down to veggie sandwich
– Scroll down to potato enchiladas with salsa verde
– Super easy pesto and goat cheese croissants 
– Non traditional Caprese Salad
– If you’re into fake meats, these are a great option. Sub fake meatballs from the store and follow the recipe according. Great alone or on some toasted bread.
– Vegetarian Chili with home-made garlic bread to dip
– Cucumber Salad, Fried Rice, Veggie Kabobs in a teriyaki glaze

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