Cannibal Kitchen: Santa’s Slay

Cannibal Kitchen: Santa’s Slay

Cannibal Kitchen: Santa’s Slay

📅23 December 2012, 14:04


“Spreading Holiday Fear This Christmas”

In the spirit of awfully amazing holiday themed horror movies, let’s keep the theme going with an ode to another film that is “bashfully” bad, but in the best way possible. Santa’s Slay I find is one of the less known of the genre crossovers, but as we’ve come to find, horror films that host wrestlers in lead roles are never ever a bad idea. In fact, with Santa’s Slay we have the epitome of the “triple threat”. For a grand 78 minutes, we are delivered Bill Goldberg (who is the Devil’s son and forced to play Santa for 1000 years may I add), a horrific body count of 32, and all tied together with a big bow or Christmas humor. Glorious, not to forget that we also get dialogue such as this:
(Enters Strip Club)
Santa Claus: Ho, Ho….
(Oogles topless waitress as she walks by)
Santa Claus: (Lustily) HOES…

It also doesn’t hurt my feelings that Fran Drescher and Christ Kattan make an appearance and are killed off very early on. At least I know my Christmas wish has came true! We all know Santa loves cookies, but I like to think that the Devil’s son would prefer rice krispies treats. Particularly ones that are blood red and topped with toffee, chocolate, and caramel. Or maybe I’m just thinking about myself. So does that mean that I’m really the Devil’s son?

Let Santa Slay Some Krispies
Basic Rice Krispies are so good that I’m pretty sure they could help bring world peace. These Rice Krispies on steroids I’m positive could bring world peace. Anyone have Obama’s number?

–       4 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter
–       1 (10 ounce) package regular Marshmallows
–       5 Cups Rice Krispies cereal
–       1/3 Cup Light Brown Sugar
–       ½ Teaspoon Vanilla extract
–       Red food coloring
–       1 (16 oz) Pre-made caramel dip
–       1 (8 ounce) Milk Chocolate baking bar
–       2 Tablespoons Toffee bits
–       Sea Salt

Lightly grease a 9x 13-inch baking dish. In a large saucepan over low heat, melt the butter. Add marshmallows to the butter being to melt. Once marshmallows have started to melt, add brown sugar. Stir until completely combined, and marshmallows are fully melted. Add red food coloring to achieve a blood red tone. Remove the mixture from the heat and stir in the vanilla extract and rice krispies cereal. Press the mixture into the baking dish.
Melt the Caramel in a heatproof bowl in the microwave. Remove and spread a light layer of caramel over the rice krispies mixture. Refrigerate for 15 minutes and save the remainder of caramel.
In the meantime, take the rest of the caramel and transfer it to some form of a piping tool. Remove the rice krispies from the refrigerator and melt chocolate in the microwave in a heatproof bowl. Pour the melted chocolate over the rice krispies and return back to the refrigerator for 30 minutes or until the chocolate firms up. Pipe the caramel over the top in thin strips, and then top off with crumbled toffee and a pinch of sea salt. Return back to refrigerator for 5 minutes if you want the caramel to become solid. If you prefer to serve them gooey, serve right away.

Makes 16

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